“I beg you as aliens and pilgrims to abstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul.”
I Peter 2:11
Use of pornography is rampant in our culture and in the church. Incredibly, 78% of men and 44% of women in the US consume porn. Confessing Christians come in with only slightly lower numbers. Sadly, the average child is exposed to porn by the age of twelve.
Governments, schools, parents, as well as churches are grappling with a behavior that has become epidemic in our hyper-sexed culture. The technological advances fueling this activity make it impossible to close the floodgates. If you want porn, it is there at your fingertips.
As a result, pornography has become the weapon of choice for fleshly lusts as they effectively wage war against the souls of so many.
Facing such a powerful, relentless enemy, St. Peter’s straightforward admonishment “to abstain from fleshly lusts” may seem inadequate and simplistic. As you read further, I pray that you will see that Peter’s advice is exactly what we all need to hear and to heed.
So what is lust?
Lust is when someone derives sexual pleasure from a forbidden source. Sexual pleasure, the “sexual buzz,” is the dopamine charged experience that you may know as “being turned on.” The sexual buzz involves our emotions, our bodies and our cognitive functions.
Consider this carefully considered definition of lust:
Sexual lust—the illicit sexual buzz—is a willfully allowed pleasurable
gratification of wrongfully directed sexual desire taking place deeply inside.
Let’s break this down:
- Willfully allowed—Lust is something we choose to do. It is not forced upon us. Giving in to it may be driven by habit and undertaken without deliberation, but it is still a choice on our part.
- Pleasurable—We enjoy lust. Lust is intensely enjoyable and addictive in a way we cannot fully understand.
- Gratification—We recognize when lust happens; something clicks into place. We may claim that we are “doing nothing” and may be able to fool others. However, we should not try to fool ourselves. God, certainly, is not fooled.
- Wrongfully directed sexual desire—When we lust, we are focusing our attention in a way that is not right. The sexual buzz is only proper when it is grounded within a marriage relationship.
- Taking place deeply inside— Lust is deep-seated and intensely personal. It occurs quickly and unmistakably, long before (and oftentimes without any) externally visible evidence.
This, admittedly, is a rather complicated definition. Jesus—the Master Wordsmith—distilled all these elements into a phrase that instantly rings true. He termed what takes place when we lust as committing “adultery in the heart” (Matthew 5:28). In doing so he included all of the above elements of lust with an elegant, penetrating simplicity that a Christian cannot dismiss from his conscience.
Those who follow Christ need to accept His teaching:
Sexual Lust—the illicit sexual buzz—is adultery in the heart.
Unwanted thoughts and misdirected desires are not lust.
Once we recognize that lust takes place in our hearts, our focus necessarily turns to our thoughts and desires—the central battleground in overcoming lust.
Thoughts and desires, when misused, open our hearts to lust. Unfortunately, we cannot eliminate unwanted thoughts. Instead, we are taught in the Bible to take every thought captive, refusing to harness thoughts to gain sinful pleasure. The same is true of our desires. Misdirected desires to engage in sin may feel like sin. However, it is only when we act on these desires by committing adultery in our hearts that we have crossed the line into sin. St Paul described this sin as “fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind” (Ephesians 2:3)
God has fashioned each us with a mental and spiritual hidden life that only He can see. It is the essence of our being. Gaining the ability, through His power, to harness our thoughts and desires in a way that is pleasing to God is the ongoing process that draws us ever closer to Him who made us.
People who have spent a lifetime experiencing an illicit sexual buzz in all kinds of situations are not eager or willing to give it up. Instead of eliminating lust along the lines recommended here, many prefer to focus merely on stopping pornography use and other visible sins.
However, controlling such unwanted behavior while letting lust rage is a hopeless task.
Recoiling from lust
The proper response when tempted to lust is to firmly and consciously refuse ourselves the pleasure of an illicit sexual buzz.
To better understand that, consider the automatic shuddering “taboo” response we generate when reacting against thoughts of incest. A similar response needs to kick in whenever we face temptations to lust. This is true whether such temptations come from our desires, our thoughts, our eyes or the situation we are in. Recoiling—turning sharply away—from lust in this way is precisely what Paul meant when he urged Timothy to “flee from youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22).
This may seem impossible, but there is hope.
Recoiling from lust as an automatic response may sound like an impossible challenge if you are habitually committing lust. However, the Bible reveals how you can receive this kind of inner transformation. If you look to God and let him have His way in you, he promises to impart self-control and freedom from sin’s power. Over time the correct response to temptation will become automatic.
As this takes hold, you will experience joy, peace and freedom from the bondage of sin. God is with you in this. Victory over lust—when you are no longer enslaved to it—awaits you.
To help you in your battle, the book Overcoming Lust has been made freely available to you on this site to guide and encourage you. I would like to hear from you. Let me know where you are in this struggle so that others can pray for you.
