Masturbation is a confusing, controversial subject for Christians. Recently, seven different Christian writers were invited to weigh in on the subject. The responses were all over the map. Some spoke against it and some thought it was OK.
Our problem right now is that we can no longer dismiss masturbation as a somewhat harmless activity.
Richard Beck—a noted academic, author and blogger—was the only writer in the group to inject the red hot word “lust” into his thoughtful perspective. Admittedly, healthy sexuality—the focus of the discussion—is hard to reconcile with lust.
Beck brought the subjects of masturbation and lust together in a new way. Here is his take:
Masturbation can actually be useful—that as a “quick physiological outlet” it could actually function as a helpful “tool to combat lust.” It can act as a way to “manage our sex drive.” “Masturbate, clear your head, and move on with your day.”
Can masturbation really help as a “tool to combat lust?”
Masturbation, using porn, and illicit sex are all ways that lust reveals itself. Such “acting out” is not helpful. Instead, these ugly actions occur when one has initially allowed lust to flourish in one’s heart.
Arguing that masturbation is less harmful than other outcomes is short-sighted and does not square with the no-holds-barred way that lust is currently waging war against our souls (1 Peter 2:11).
Our problem right now is that we can no longer dismiss masturbation as a somewhat harmless activity. Instead, coupled with internet pornography, masturbation is being revealed as a powerfully destructive force and public health issue all by itself. Even secular health experts, who are neutral on the moral issues, are sounding the alarm.
It really comes down to whether or not it is possible to overcome lust.
If we can’t overcome lust—if we are stuck with it—masturbation may seem like the least damaging way to cope. Masturbation could then even be considered as a “tool to combat” or at least manage lust.
Such an approach may have worked when pornography and “irresistible” temptations were less ubiquitous. Now, increasingly nasty temptations of the most enticing quality push themselves on us from every direction. Lusting and acting out quickly rope those who do not know how to defend themselves into a vicious cycle of sin.
Since it is becoming increasingly less possible to reign in lust—to tame it and live with it—we have no choice but to overcome it. This is a good thing. God never intended for us to live with lust. He does not want us to rationalize, manage or accommodate sin.
He expects for us to gain victory over it… to put it to death (Colossians 3:5).
When we are obedient in doing this, it opens the door to a life that is pleasing to Him.
I have been following your blog for quite some time, and thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. They have been instrumental in my personal fight against lust. As I read some of the comments in the post you linked to, some questions floating in my mind found words. How can a single (such as I) glorify God and worship Him through my whole being; which includes my sexuality? Are there legitimate expressions of my sexuality as a single? Marriage is an oft-proposed answer, which is valid, but I think that bypasses the original question. I’m with you in that we cannot afford to “manage” sin or lust, and that the Bible is absolutely true. And, I don’t want this to sound like discussing the benefits of “social drinking” with former alcoholics. God bless you and your ministry
Thanks for your encouraging comment, Kenneth. Your questions about the special challenges that come from being single deserve a more complete answer than I am offering here. Although I can’t write from that perspective, I do know that the determination needed to live sexually pure is similar for both those who are single and those who are married. God’s grace and provision are there for us in every temptation. May God strengthen, encourage and bless you as you battle to overcome lust.
KennethA,
First of all, praise God for your desire to
honor God in all areas of your life, including your sexuality. I have
struggled mightily myself with temptation and lust, both as a single and
married man, pre-Christian and post-conversion, and even after getting married,
before I learned the truth of the need to put lust to death in my life.
I sympathize with what seems to be the “plight” of single Christian
men, that is, NO SEX, EVER! I appreciate the sincerity of your
questions, “How can a single (such as I) glorify God and worship Him
through my
whole being; which includes my sexuality? Are there legitimate
expressions of my sexuality as a single?” Please consider this in
response to the first question: Our sexuality is not something we
possess, it is a gift from God, designed and intended for expression
ONLY within the bounds of marriage. If it did belong to me, then it
would be mine to do with as I (not God) see fit, but we know from
Scripture that is not the case. All sex outside of marriage (including
masturbation) is fornication or adultery, and forbidden by God. As to
the second question (“legitimate expressions”), aside from marriage,
there is only one: abstinence. I recognize this is difficult, but we
also have to remember that everything God commands us is ALWAYS for our
own good! Please consider the writings of Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:
1 Corinthians 6:12-20 – Glorify God in Body and Spirit
12 All
things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things
are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Foods
for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it
and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord,
and the Lord for the body. 14 And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. 18 Flee
sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but
he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
Here we see Paul telling us that the surrender of our
body and spirit to God (our “legitimate expression”) is a form of
worship and obedience of the highest order. And it has great reward:
James 1:12 – Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
Luke 9:23-25
23 Then
He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny
himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. 24 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. 25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?”
Jesus never asks or commands us to do something that He isn’t
intimately aware of or hasn’t already experienced Himself. He denied
Himself, leaving His Heavenly position and coming to earth in the form
of a man, to suffer at the hands of sinners and die for our sins. He is
well acquainted with denial. He acknowledges that His is not an easy
path to walk, but it is possible, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Whom
He sent to us when He ascended into Heaven. So there is the ultimate
answer: it is only by the power of God and the Holy Spirit that we can
honor God in the area of sexuality, whether single or married. To obtain
victory over the work of Satan, temptation, and lust, we must deny
ourselves, surrender to God, deny our own will and submit to His.
Again, I know this all sounds so difficult, perhaps even
impossible, but don’t give up hope! What we perceive as hopelessly weak
(our flesh), God will make strong through His Spirit (2 Corinthians 12:9
– And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength
is made perfect in weakness.”).
Victory IS attainable. My own life testifies to the power of God to give
us this victory. Press on, and never let mistakes or even major
failures deter you from the goal – victory over lust!
KennethA, These are good questions you are raising, and
I would like to weigh in with some thoughts for you. First remember that “Lust”
is entirely different from our normal human sexual desire. Lust is a choice to
satisfy our own selfish pleasure with whatever feels good. Our sexual desire is
part of the way God made us and is a gift, not for us, but for our spouse.
(compare 1 Cor. 6:19 & 1 Cor. 7:4) If you are inclined to express your
sexuality with lust, and all the tools of lust like pornography, premarital
sex, etc. GETTING MARRIED WILL NOT CHANGE YOUR DESIRE FOR LUST. For the single,
getting married will not fix or satisfy you if you are choosing to lust. You
can choose now to pursue sexual purity before God, and no longer choose to
lust.
Lust and sexual desire
are two entirely different things. As an example of how to manage your sexuality
when single, all I can do is give you my experience. When I wake up with an
erection I could choose to take my own pleasure and masturbate. Instead I thank
God for my sexuality, I think about how my future wife will appreciate my
remaining sexually pure for her, and I say a prayer to God that my sexuality
will always glorify Him, and if I ever have thoughts or fantasies of lust I surrender
those immediately to God, and ask Him to take those thoughts away and replace
them with good thoughts. (2 Cor. 10:5) He is always faithful; this has always
worked for me. And I find a fulfillment and joy in being sexually pure before
my God and my future wife.
Thanks for the reply. You outlined a hard path, but it is the True Path. Real Christianity isn’t necessarily easy, but it is good. It isn’t worth gambling that an easier path will lead to God. But, with the power of the Spirit of God, the hard path is doable and also the only one I dare to trust my destiny with
I’ve been .masturbating since I was 12 years old. in my life, masturbation has never been equated to lust. 35 years later, I believe that it allowed me the knowledge of my body to be the man, husband and father I am now. I learned my bodies needs and enjoyment and my personal experiences of my body taught me the lessons needed for a happy, healthy love life with my wife.