Discussion Questions

These discussion questions are taken from the book,

Overcoming Lust, copyrighted by Jim Vander Spek.

You are permitted to copy and paste these questions in any way that is helpful for you.

May God grant you victory over lust!

Chapter 1- Our Story

1. If you have not done so, read the foreword written by PatKenney. Is there any part of his story or what he writes that surprises you?
2. Describe an occasion where you have shared with someone else about the sin of lust in your life or theirs.
3. Describe why “two are better than one” in battling lust.
4. How have you found the concept of “give and it will be given you” to apply in ministering to others?
5. Can you identify with any of those whose stories were shared in this chapter? If so, explain. How do they give you hope where previously you may have been discouraged?

Chapter 2- Understanding Lust

1. Consider the definition, “You are sexually pure when no sexual gratification comes from anyone but your wife.” Is there a better way to describe sexual purity? Why is a definition needed?
2. Would you describe the definitions of lust provided in this chapter as realistic? Accurate? Helpful? What was new in this for you?
3. Would you consider lust as being automatic or something that you allow yourself to experience? Describe why this is so.
4. Consider the way the “illicit sexual buzz” is described in this chapter. Do you have another way to describe it?
5. What are some ways to experience sexual desire without sinning?
6. How can we think sexual thoughts without sinning? Give examples.
7. Looking back over your life, would you say you believed the best you could hope for was to manage lust and sexual temptation, or did you believe you could overcome it? How has this chapter challenged your old thinking?

Chapter 3- The danger of Lust

1. Lust is described as insatiable. Have you found that to be true in your experience? Can you provide an example of this in your life?
2. Lust is described as deceptive. Have you found that to be true in your experience? Can you provide an example of this in your life?
3. Lust is described as destructive. Have you found this to be true in your experience? Can you provide an example of this in your life?
4. The quote taken from the Sexaholics Anonymous website includes the following, “Lust is cunning, baffling, powerful, and patient.” Which of these qualities have you found to be true in your experience with lust?
5. How might Paul’s characterization of his past attitudes and behavior in Titus 3:3—“foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures”—describe your own attitudes and behavior, either now or in the past?
6. What have you learned that is new about lust by reading this far and as you have discussed it? How do you believe this will affect how you live?

Chapter 4- Entering the War Against Lust

1. How does avoiding bad behavior compare with overcoming lust?
2. How have you acted on what you know to be true regarding lust?
3. Can you describe a crisis in your life brought about by lust?
4. Have you ever heard of recoiling from lust by means of “bouncing your eyes” or similar advice?Do you think it is practical or effective to do so?
5. To what extent would you be willing to go to remove recurring temptations to lust from your life?
6. Have you ever recoiled from lust in your thought life? Do you think it is practical or effective to do this on a consistent basis?
7. Have you found yourself unable to overcome lust despite engaging in intense spiritual activity? Why do you think this was so? How did you handle it?
8. How do you intend to go about battling lust going forward?

Chapter 5- Confronting False Rationales

1. Describe the Triangle of Lust. What stood out to you the most when you read about this?
2. Describe freedom from lust as described in this chapter. What does such freedom look like in daily life?
3. Who are the positive role models in your life, in regard to overcoming lust?
4. Describe the freedom from lust or other sin as compared to the examples of Jack and Shaq. Have you ever felt such freedom from lust?
5. What rationales—used by some to excuse lust—stand out for you from this chapter? Which of these have you used in your life?
6. How will you go about abandoning the rationales that supported your sin in the past?

Chapter 6- Weapons for Overcoming Lust (Part 1)

1. Do you agree that there is no “maintaining the status quo” in the true Christian walk? If so, do you feel that you are moving forward into righteousness or backward into sin?
2. What should be your goal as to sexual purity?
3. How do you feel after you allow the sin of lust into your life? Do you sorrow or mourn Rationalize the guilt away? Feel nothing? Can you recall an example of this?
4. Describe the last time you confessed the sin of lust and repented from it.
5. As you look back on your life, how have you made provision for lust?
6. What is your plan for no longer making a provision for lust in your life, both now and in the future?
7. Give an example of where you have fled or might flee from an “ambush” temptation.
8. Is there any relationship in your life that has been damaged by lust? How would you now be able to bring about reconciliation in this relationship?
9. Which of the weapons described in this chapter do you believe could be the most helpful for you in overcoming lust? Why?

Chapter 7- Weapons for Overcoming Lust (Part 2)

1. If married, how could you more effectively glorify God in your sexual relationship with your spouse?
2. Are you being transparent with anyone about your failures and successes in regards to lust?
3. Describe ways that you could improve your thought life.
4. Have you had a struggle with remaining consistent in battling lust? What would help you keep up your guard?
5. How could you improve the way you pray?
6. If you have time, discuss each of the fourteen weapons described in this chapter and the previous one. Are you using any of these weapons now? Which ones? How? How could you make better use of them?
7. Which of the weapons described in this chapter do you believe could be the most helpful for you in overcoming lust?
8. As you read this, does it appear to you that the conduct being recommended appears to be excessive, or “over the top” in terms of what it takes to deal with lust? If yes—explain which conduct seems that way and why.

Chapter 8- Meditating on Scripture

1. How many Bible verses or passages have you memorized in the past?
2. Which ones remain in your memory or would quickly be available if you reviewed them?
3. Describe the differences between hiding, keeping and meditating on God’s word.
4. Compare the benefits of reading, studying and meditating on Scripture.
5. What do you think about most when your mind wanders? When you wake during the night?
6. How would you distinguish between your heart, your soul and your mind?
7. What do you think about the idea of making Scripture your default meditation?
8. What passage from Scripture would you like to memorize? Which one would you recommend to those who struggle with lust?
9. How do you think that meditating on Scripture would help you to overcome lust?

Chapter 9- Victory Over Lust

1. Describe the part that you play in overcoming lust versus what God does.
2. Can you give examples of how the world’s approach to dealing with lust differs from the way that Christians are meant to deal with it?
3. What do you think about the “sexual sobriety” standard that some use in combating lust?
4. Do you believe that you or someone you know is a sex addict? How does God’s Word speak to this?
5. How would you rate your self-control as to giving in to lust?
6. What would victory over lust look like in your life?
7. How would your life be different if you were walking in victory over lust?

Chapter 10- Is Victory Over Lust Unusual?

1. The opening two paragraphs of this chapter describe the reaction of some Christians to the material presented so far. Which reaction best matches yours?
2. How would you describe the teaching about lust you received in the past? Was it clear or unclear?
3. Describe situations where you have seen sexual purity modeled.
4. Several examples of those who got on track with overcoming lust early on in their Christian walk are presented. What did you learn from these? Can you identify with them?
5. Has your exposure to poor examples among Christians hindered your ability to overcome lust in the past? Describe specific examples of this.
6. How realistic is it to expect victory over lust in your life?
7. Peter says that God “has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness.” Is there anything stopping you from living a godly life?
8. We are at the halfway point in this book. So far, are you in agreement with the teaching presented? Explain. How are you making progress in overcoming lust in your life?

Part 2- Learning from Scripture

Chapter 11- Adultery in the Heart

1. What did Jesus mean for us to do in Matthew 5 where He describes lust in the heart?
2. What was Jesus trying to teach us when He describes plucking out our eyes and cutting off our hands?
3. Do you agree with the way Matthew 5:27-30 was explained in this chapter? If you agree, how will it affect the way you live? If you disagree, explain how you interpret these verses.
4. Share an experience where a thorny harvest grew up in your life because you gave in to lust.
5. Jesus expected us to obey His commandments. What stops you from obeying Him? Who do you know that does this?
6. Recall Job’s covenant with his eyes and his description of his heart not following his eyes. What would it look like in your life to keep such a covenant?

Chapter 12-Setting Captives Free

1. Jesus said that He came to set us free from sin. What do you think that kind of freedom looks like?
2. Jesus expects us to obey His commandments. What prevents us from doing so?
3. Do you think it is possible to obey His commandments? Describe the life of someone who obeys the commandments? What stops you from living by them?
4. Do you see the kind of righteousness of the Pharisees being lived out in the lives of Christians you know? Describe this—(no names).
5. Why do we tend to blame our environment, such as the way we see women dress or behave, for our lust?
6. How does the word picture of the vine and the branches in John 15 help you develop a strategy for overcoming lust?
7. Obeying the commandments of Jesus results in a firm foundation to keep you safe when the storms of life come. Can you describe an example of this in your life?
8. Can you give an example of the results that come from having a foundation of sand?
9. How would your life be different if you were to “pick up your cross” and follow Christ?

Chapter 13- Paul’s Indwelling Sin

1. Read Romans 7:13-24 and replace the word “sin” with the word “lust” and assume that it is written by Paul as a believer. How does that help you?
2. Have you ever felt the way Paul described himself in Romans 7—doing what you do not want to do? Sometimes? Frequently? Never?
3. What does it mean to “continue in sin?” Would you agree that it means being caught up in habitual, life-dominating sin?
4. Do you agree that Paul’s indwelling sin, referred to in Romans 7, could well have been lust? How does that help you?
5. Read the four verses where Paul mentions lust and uncleanness, and again replace the word “sin” with the word “lust.” What specific instruction does Paul provide in these verses?

Chapter 14- Paul’s Argument Against Indwelling Sin

1. How does Paul’s first word picture (Romans 6:1-14) describe your condition and how you should conduct your life in regards to lust?
2. How does Paul’s second word picture (Romans 6:15-23) describe your condition and how you should conduct your life as it relates to lust?
3. How does Paul’s third word picture (Romans 7:1-6) describe your condition and how you should conduct your life as it relates to lust?
4. Do you believe that it is normal or necessary for a Christian to feel like R7 Man? Why is it so common?
5. Give an example of a time when continuing in sin brought death into your life.
6. Give an example of a time when continuing in sin made you a slave to sin.
7. Give an example of time when continuing in sin removed joy from your life.
8. In the verses listed in the section that tells us what we should be doing, replace the word “sin” with “lust” and read them out loud. Why do you not always do what you should do?
9. What part of your life needs to change so that you will do what you should do?

Chapter 15- A Slave to Righteousness

1. Which would most accurately describe you—a slave to righteousness, or a slave to sin? Why?
2. How is Paul’s teaching about the use of our members built upon what Jesus taught on this subject?
3. What part do our “members” play in gaining victory over sin?
4. Can you give examples of what it looks like when one’s members are instruments of righteousness versus slaves of unrighteousness?
5. What are the differences between R7 Man and R8 Man? Which one do you identify with more?
6. Do you feel conviction because of the sin of lust in your life? Does it go away? What parts of Romans 6-8 speak to you most powerfully about this subject?

Chapter 16- The Renewed Mind

1. How does it help you, knowing that Jesus was tempted in all ways just like you?
2. Can you describe what it is like to crucify your flesh as it relates to lust?
3. Can you share what it is like to put off the Old Man and put on the New Man as it relates to lust?
4. We are described as being the “temple of God.” What do you think that means and how does it affect how you intend to live?
5. Paul encourages us in various ways and in various passages to take heed and be careful lest we fall short. What are your concerns about falling into sin?
6. Paul describes being transformed by the renewing of your mind. Have you experienced this in your life? What would help you progress in this?

Chapter 17- Learning From the Other Apostles

1. Describe how you came to be a Christian and any training that you received following this in how to live as a Christian as it relates to lust.
2. Does the image of cleaning out old dead branches to make room for new life describe what has happened in your life? Give an example of this in your life.
3. Give an example of when you have blamed God or others for your sin.
4. Describe the way the slippery slope of sin works according to James and give an example from your life.
5. Do you believe you will be able to lay aside all filthiness as James describes? What else does James tell us to do in regards to our sin?
6. James talks about turning someone who “wanders from the truth.” Share any experience you have had with purposeful intervention as it relates to lust.

Chapter 18- Peter

1. Can you describe how ignorance has played a part in causing you to conform to your former lusts as Peter describes?
2. How does the analogy of war help us to understand lust and how to overcome it?
3. Peter advises us to exert great effort in order to acquire eight positive qualities including self-control. Where are you in this process and how will you proceed going forward?
4. Why should you see yourself as self-willed and presumptuous when you allow lust in your life?
5. Have you been influenced by teachers or writers who are like Peter described in 2 Peter 2:12-19? Describe what they were teaching.
6. How will acquiring the qualities Peter describes stop you from being barren and unfruitful?
7. If you are struggling with lust, how do you believe God will deliver you?

Chapter 19- John

1. What does John mean by, “Do not love the world”?
2. Describe a time when you faked doing well in your spiritual walk even though at the time, you were deeply struggling with lust.
3. How does John teach us to deal with our sin?
4. Describe a time when you found yourself confessing your sins without effectively repenting from them.
5. Where would you rate your maturity as a Christian based on the way John described those he wrote to?
6. Do you believe that you could describe yourself as having ceased from sin or no longer continuing in sin as Peter and John describe? How could this become a reality in your life?

Chapter 20- More than Conquerors

1. What is a break-even, unprofitable servant? Are you like that? Are you better or worse than that?
2. How does the parable of the talents apply to your struggle with lust?
3. When all is said and done, what do you envision your role in the future to be like?
4. Describe what it is like to be “more than a conqueror.”
5. Why is “knowing God” so valuable?
6. What is the most important thing you have learned in reading this book?
7. How will what you have learned affect the way you live?